Mama Firmbottom: Dramarama (and not the good kind)*

I hate drama.  Sometimes in life, it’s unavoidable.  Sometimes, drama stalks me and gets all creepy until I tell it, “Look D., I want you to stop cutting my hair at night and telling my Denny’s waiters that we’re an item.  People are asking me about you, and seriously, enough is enough.  Plus, I see the hair-shirt you’re making, and trust me, nobody thinks it’s avant garde; it’s weird.”  Then, I put drama on a timeout, and return to my normal, awesome life.

Life is too short for unnecessary beefs with people, and to get upset about misunderstandings, or to steam about other people or their actions, and not seek clarification. 

How to avoid unnecessary drama:

Step 1 – Be considerate.  This should be common sense, but whatever.  Think before you speak, and before making a decision, look outside of yourself and consider how it may affect others.  You don’t have to go all WWJD** on people, just take a second to think about someone that’s not yourself. 

Step 2 – Communicate.  If you think someone insulted you, if you were offended by something, entertain the notion that perhaps there was a misunderstanding, and then seek to clarify it.  Don’t be passive aggressive.  Don’t sulk, pout, or send vague or sarcastic emails or texts.  Don’t put “Some people are ASSHOLES” as your Facebook quote.  Don’t respond “nothing” if people ask you what’s wrong.  Just talk to the person with whom you have a problem.  Why beat around the bush or keep things awkward and tense? 

Step 3 – Understand your own feelings before you project them onto someone else, or get upset for no reason.  Ask yourself why something bothered you.  Also, understand your motivations for confronting someone else.  Ask yourself, “What am I trying to accomplish?”  This is not to encourage a defeatist attitude, but simply to fully understand what kind of end result you hope to see. 

Step 4 – If you can, and if it would not serve to encourage unacceptable behavior, don’t take it personal.  Unless you’re sure that something was done maliciously, perhaps it’s easier for all involved if you just take the high road.  If your co-worker is being a bitch one day, (unless this is a repeat issue), just accept the fact that they have their psycho days, and maybe they have something going on at home, and they’ll probably get over it and realize they were being unreasonable.  Then move the fuck on.  Everyone has their douche days.*** 

Step 5 – Listen.  If someone puts their cards on the table, treat their feelings with respect.  Then either explain what you meant to do or say or how their perception of the event differed from your own.  I’m not encouraging people to get walked on, or to be aggressive and confrontational.  I’m encouraging open communication for the purpose of re-establishing the status quo, as it were. 

These steps all kind of dovetail from one another, but I think they’re relevant.  Also, remember that “the shortest distance between two points is a straight line”, which, though I’m not great with expressions or analogies, I think means that the simplest explanation is the likeliest.  Or maybe it means that math isn’t really bringing the hard-hitting life clichés or it means something vaguely sexual, in a way that I can’t begin to understand would ever be helpful.  So just put your conspiracy theories and your “everyone is out to get me” shoulder chip to the side until you’ve got proof. 

Sometimes people get so caught up in what’s going in their lives that they can’t see the bigger picture.  When you lose perspective, you can lose levity.  Life is so incredibly short- why waste it being unhappy, if you can avoid it?  You can’t predict or control what life throws at you, but you can certainly control how you react to it.  Emotions can be overwhelming, but that’s where the people you care about come in, and it’s better for them to be there for you than to be absent because you have some ridiculous ongoing drama.

I once heard a Chinese proverb, “The fire of anger only burns the angry.”  I took it to heart because the Chinese nailed wontons, almond cookies, cool dragon costumes, and finger traps; I think their record speaks for itself.  Also, I’m not big on temperature extremities and burning doesn’t sound pleasant.  So, I’m going to do my part to stop being so dramatic.  I would appreciate it if you would do yours, World.  Thank you. 

*Click here for the good kind, not *A* good time, perv

**What Would Jem Do?  She’d rock, that’s what she’d do.  I loved her.

***I didn’t mean this in a literal sense, but does anyone else feel like this could be a Summer’s Eve commercial tagline?  Maybe my calling was in marketing and advertising.