We get it: you’re rebellious. You smoke and drink and do drugs and treat your vagina like a parking garage.* You are unapologetic. You’d rather beg for forgiveness than ask permission. You don’t believe in God and think religion is for idiots and pussies. You hold disdain for pop culture, The Man, and demure hemlines. You got your first tattoo at 16. You squeeze your toothpaste from the middle. Yes, your coolness alone could single-handedly combat global warming if you could be pressed enough to give a shit. Kudos, you antiestablishmentarian. Your strong will may prove to be a great asset once you stop using it solely to call attention to yourself. I hope one day your fighting spirit produces something that contributes to humanity and society. Until then, please stop reminding me how cool you are.
And you. Nobody cares that you’re convinced everything is a conspiracy. It’s notable that you want the world to be a better, more equitable place. Your quest for transparency is respectable, even, but your methods are not. When you have proof instead of unanswered inquiries and a series of bitch and whine sessions, or when you set aside your belief that the world makes more sense when people are in drug-induced hazes, or if you actually got some credibility by attaining some credential or degree or certificate or something, we’ll take you more seriously. It’s like Charlie said to Mac regarding karate: Take one class, if you love it so much. Until then, and until you have solutions instead of a pedestal you rest mightily upon because you have the ability to point out problems, please stop. Just stop.
Lastly, you. Just because not everyone agrees with your conservative religious beliefs and life approach means they’re condemned to hell and can no longer offer the world anything of use. Just because a person can see the merits of social and/or government-assistance programs does not mean they’re ready to turn the country over to tyrannical despots. Subscribing to different religious beliefs than you do does not automatically make a person the devil. Lacking a developed vocabulary does not give you the authority to make up words when you feel like it, and then try to defend your imagination by placing yourself in the company of geniuses. Please do not vainly try to pass your limited intelligence off as something endearing, a quality highly sought after and one to be attained. Not everyone that doesn’t wave a flag is unpatriotic. Not everyone that holds different opinions than you is wrong. Your passion is admirable, but perhaps misguided.
You all are on far sides of a stupid spectrum. Can we, for a moment, all agree that it’s possible not one of us knows everything, and that perhaps others may have a valid point, and thus are deserving of a limited audience? Can we take a timeout on holding strong opinions on issues about which we are ignorant? Can we take a moment to really think about issues instead of spouting rhetoric in either direction? Can we agree that it’s possible that there are many roads to the same destination? Can we agree that we all would like the world to be safe, harmonious, and happy? No? Then let’s compromise: unless it’s obvious we are joking, let’s not hold as fact items which are clearly opinions. Let’s respect each other as people, not assume that anyone not you is working to destroy the world, and respect our differences and the possible contributions we each can make to society.
You all annoy me, but I hold towards you no ill will. I just hope one day that your individual strengths accomplish more than annoyance.
Love,
The Firmbottom’d one
*Some people have permits, some pay by the hour, and some park for free after hours. You are not at any time responsible for the their personal belongings, though.
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