**WARNING** This post deals with mature subject matter and is not intended for anyone under 18 or my mother. Please skip this post and view the next, for my truly outstanding Picasso imitation.
Coworker: “My vibrator’s not working!”
That. Just. Happened.
Of course, she was talking about the vibrating function on her cell phone. Still, perhaps there was a better way to express that concern. A good rule of thumb is, if someone can say, “And that’s what she said!” after your statement, perhaps you should re-think how you’ll say it.
In any case, now that we’re on a completely inappropriate subject path, I’ll continue.
My Welshman friend has been visiting me, and while out at dinner the other day with him and Sweet B, the obviously appropriate subject of genital euphemisms came up. I cannot recall how this subject came to be, but in any case, it was an amusing topic of conversation. The Union Jackers apparently like ax wound and furburger for their lady-part names. I don’t recall the male part names but they weren’t as funny, and they all tended to be obvious ego-boosting names.
In any case, the lady-part names all sound violent or gross, so I’m offering new suggestions:
Her Eternal Majesty
Pot O’ Gold
Lovely Lady
Princess Buttercup
Butterfly Spirit
Santa Bella
Almond Joy
Bad-a-bingo
Golden Delicious
Pink Lady (It’s not my fault these apples sound suggestive.)
Earth Spirit
Luz del Mundo
Hoo-ha and Special Purpose are also still fun to use.
For the upper lovely lady lumps I prefer to keep things light-hearted: Tiddly-winks, Skittelybops, Skippy-doos, and Boppy Bops.
I suppose one could take the mature route and refer to these anatomical parts with their correct names. But that wouldn’t make me giggle quite as much, and I’m pretty sure life is meant to be giggled.
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