If I had been born in a small town where high school football was the biggest thing since Jesus was toilet trained, I would be a crazy person. I went to my cousins football banquet and saw him get “lettered” (woot woot!). While I was proud of and excited for my cousin I spent most of the time thinking, “Really?!”
My reasons?
A. The banquet was a luncheon, scheduled to start at noon. While the event started at noon, for some reason unbeknownst to me and all other lunch-eating, logical human beings, food was not scheduled to be served until 2pm. What did they think this was, Thanksgiving? WTF, people.
B. The schedule was not respected. The events went over their allotted times and lunch was not served until 3pm. Again, WTF, people? Oh yeah, and hurry your eating the fuck up because we only have the room until 3:30pm. Tee-hee.
C. Several grown men cried during the presentation…the presentation of awards for a high. school. football. team. Call me a cynical beeyotch, but really?
A part of me was flabbergasted. I know it’s not nice, but my first thoughts were, have these people really lived? How sheltered have they been? Have they ever traveled, maybe to another country, or at least out of the state? Have they been to college? I just wonder because it seemed like this, high school football, was the biggest thing in life. Like stop the fuckin’ clock, this is where I want to be- forever. Some men said that “Friday Nights” brought feelings they’d only experience again when they got married or had children. And I am not sure how that’s possible. I am not proud, but honestly, I was judging.
But then my dad said something that turned my thoughts around. What he said was akin to what the gorgeous Paul Rudd* said in Knocked Up: “I wish I liked anything as much as my kids like bubbles.” Actually, knowing me, what my dad said was probably nothing like that, but in my head it all made sense. These men loved what they did. They lived and dreamed football. They were proud of their team and they did everything to make it special for the kids. This truly brought them happiness. It almost seemed like when people find religion. They just get it, whatever it is, even if I don’t. And so I find myself thinking that if I find anything in life that brings me that much joy, I’ll consider myself lucky. Really.
*Seriously. Paul Rudd- marry me.
I'd do him.
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