Just stay out of my box

The mail and I have a contentious relationship.  When I am expecting something or looking forward with delight to receiving something, I check every day.  When I am making a stab at being something close to resembling "responsible" and especially if I think I owe people money, I check every day.  You know what I get?  I get junk mail.  Lots and lots of junk mail.  To the people sending me this trash: you are hurting the planet and wasting your time.  Sure, I recycle, but honestly this whole cycle seems like a giant waste of time and effort.  If I wanted information, I would ask.  Don't invade my mailbox with your drivel.  Even when the paper is recycled, (that of which can be, of course) there is at least a small amount of waste, and furthermore, the methods employed to recycle said material have to emit some amount of pollution, so you've still needlessly kicked Mother Nature in the crotch.  Solution: keep it out of my box.  (Not a euphemism.) 

Frustrated by all of this and having no way other options (because I am too lazy to seek them), I become less than religious about checking the mail.  I checked just often enough to not default on the bills I finally received (correction: just enough to not have services shut off, possessions repossessed, etc.), and the few visits were not enough to annoy me.  I still had a small mountain of rubbish to go through to reach the important stuff, but one trip to the recycle bin was better than 30.  The US Postal service laid a very severe blow to my plan, though, and without any consultation of any sort, single-handedly decided to stop delivering any mail to me!  Admittedly, I had scaled back to a once-a-month check.  But still!  I didn't move!  I didn't die!  For fuck's sake.  So now, after getting services restarted and assuring my creditors that no, I had in fact *not* skipped the country, I check more often, and as a result, am disappointed more often.  "Oh," I'll think, "did I get a card or a letter today?!"  No. I received a Penny Saver, advertisements from all of the seven closest grocery stores, and coupons to three "new" pizza places that I've been receiving coupons from for the last two years.  That check that was supposed to be coming my way?  Still missing. 

It's the same way with email.  My work email is a different story, but my personal email I check perhaps once a month, normally.  I do this because my inbox has been repeated violated by the unwanted advances of spam and a million mailing lists I never asked to be on or associated with.  I try to fight back but there are just SO many.  Now, when I get a personal email, I read it and respond long after the timeframe in which it would have made sense.  I look a bit like a jerk. 

I guess my real issue isn't the mail at all.  My issue is with people clouding up the things that are important to me with their barrage of requests that I give them my money or "like" their cause or appreciate the next trend or contact them for...stuff?  Services?  *sigh*  I just wish they'd all stay out of my box.