I won't bother your pussy, if you don't bother mine.

Yesterday was rough.

My cousin's Pit Bull, whom I am baby-sitting, accidentally bit me yesterday.  I don't feel it was personal, but it pissed me off a little bit, to be honest.  I took her for a walk, our first walk together, and we conveniently timed our walk to be when every child in the neighborhood was playing basketball, people were riding bikes, cats were sun-bathing in the driveways, men were walking their Chihuahuas and other men were walking their multiple Pit Bulls.  She went ape-shit, barking and lunging, and I got a little too close and she bark-bit me.  No blood, but torn skin.  My cat has injured me worse, but still.  An ape-shit Pit Bull is a scary thing.  I know I'm being a little bit of a baby, but watching a loving, sweet dog turn in an instant into something that acts insane is eye-opening.  I was so anxious the whole walk, praying we'd see nothing else and hoping I could control her.  It wasn't fun.  I get to walk her, at least twice a day, for the next few days.  Awesome.

Skip to: after a lovely dinner in Venice with my handsome boyfriend and good friend Kit-Cat, we began walking towards the car.  My phone started making noise, so I stopped walking to get my phone out of my purse.  While rifling through my purse I noticed an adorable cat standing a few feet away, behind a fence, and because I am a girl and a cat-lover, I squealed slightly and started talking to the cat and telling it how cute it was.  My friend jokingly asked, "Are you going to take it home with you?" and all hell broke loose.  An elderly woman I had not previously noticed sitting nearby, who may or may not have been homeless or living out of a nearby car, snarled at me: "Well you can't have it, you dumb bitch!" Whoa!  She then proceeded to rant and tell us that we need to find our own cat, we think we can just take whatever we want, it doesn't matter who it belongs to, and everything is fine, but we can't, and we can't take away her pride or dignity either, and that's something she has and we wouldn't know anything about, "motherfuckers".  She also yelled at length about me being born with a silver spoon in my pussy.  Whoa!  Maybe somebody did her wrong at some point, but all I did was compliment a cat, for fuck's sake! 

The real issue, I think, here, is that her speculating or making audacious claims about my pussy is without a doubt, totally out of line.  The condition of said pussy is a private matter and quite frankly, not open for discussion.*  I don't even know her.  And now I'm not sure I want to, with that kind of attitude.  She wouldn't even listen when I told her we meant no offense, and wished her a good day.  She was utterly unreasonable. 




*Just FYI, I wasn't born with a silver spoon anywhere.  Or a silver spork.